Friday, January 29, 2010

this one makes me giggle


i wonder how dane came up with the head shaking thing to equal dancing.
i don't know but i love it.

Monday, January 25, 2010

and the money is rolling in

hey guess what? i made $.03! no, no, not 3 dollars...3 cents. except i can't find the cents symbol on my keypad.
yeah, yeah, i'm really happy people are reading this because otherwise what the hell is it for right? but i can't help admitting that the thought of potentially turning this into a moneymaker like that damndable "dooce"" lady DID cross my mind. do you know that crazy pixie makes upwards of $40,000 a MONTH? and yes, i'm basically ripping her off except i have MUCH worse photography here but hot DAMN that would be amazing. when starting this blog i also had-in addition to the fantasies of me rolling around on the bed demi moore style rubbing myself with hundreds-fantasies of a talk show devoted to mommyhood. it's like all these bloggers just happen to have book deals and deals with hgtv and deals deals deals.
that would be cool.
i'm just sayin.
i wonder if i'll get a check for that in the mail? i will frame that shit for sure.

too. cute. must. kiss. lots.

let me tell you one of the gajillion trillion things i love about little danger: he is a snuggler and cuddler extraordinaire. he should have a baby masters degree in it. (yes, that gave me a laugh aloud visual). he snuggles simultaneously ferociously and gently after every nap and/or night's sleep. he plops is pacifier in his mouth and grabs his bear blankie and slams his head on your chest. the cherry on top of that heart melting ice cream sundae is that he REMAINS there. i'm talking for at least 10 minutes. yesterday, i was feeding him breakfast when he reached out for my arm and guided it to his cheek and laid down his fuzzy noggin and snuggled my arm for like 10 seconds. he doesn't restrict his snuggle skill set to living things either. if he is reading a book with anything resembling something cute and fuzzy, he will bring the book to his cheek and go "ooooooooh".
really, i can't take it.

four steps!!!!

it just happened 30 seconds ago! dammit all danny wasn't here to see it.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

i speaketh too soon

ha! figures when i say something so haughty like i did in the previous post about my angel child and his unearthly sleep filled wonderfulness he has a fit of sorts this evening. i put him to bed at 6:10 and he cried pretty solidly till about 30 seconds ago (it's 7:22). ok, he's quiet now. phew.
you see, i am in my bachelorette mode where i have rented "the proposal" having already paid my effing dues with "the hurt locker" last night. along with the fluffy movie, i am on my THIRD night in a row of frozen chicken potstickers and let me tell you audience: IT IS BY CHOICE. it is a PRIVILEGE to eat these things. it says right on the box "delicious and authentic". so there. in addition to the aforementioned delights, i bought a box of "swiss cake rolls" which i used to eat every day in the ninth grade and i swear on my life that is true. every day. ask karrie. she may also remind me of the time she pointed out a stray piece of waxy chocolate which fell on my leg and when she tried to brush it off, realized it was a mole. i'm moley. (i peel the waxy chocolate coating and throw it right the hell away so i can enjoy the chocolatey cream layer. you have to say "chocolatey" because that ain't chocolate.)
ok, back to my girl's night in.

hhmmmm. interesting

since danny's been out of town one thing is sticking out like a sore thumb: my house is a wreck. when he's here, i tidy, vaccuum, and generally take alot of pride in our cheerful abode but holy crap i canNOT muster the energy to do anything but look at dane and perez. (not in that order). i have to force myself to grocery shop and vacuum out the car and tend to the laundry.
and it's not like i can blame my lack of motivation on being tired. angel baby's new thing is sleeping in until 8:30 or 9:00 and this is on top of going to bed at 6:30 and me not setting foot in his room till the morning.
so i guess i've discovered that danny makes me a better person. hurry back danny. there's a 4 day old poop filled diaper that needs to be dealt with.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

holy crapballs!

i don't know if it's the 2 glasses of wine or the frozen potstickers or a combination of both but i frikkin LOVED THE S OUT OF the conan finale! AWESOME.

dishy and informative

danny gave me a book called "live from new york" for our anniversary which for me is pretty much the best gift ever. it's a truly engaging book written in an oral history style in which NOone holds back. it's really juicy and fascinating and THICK but i could not put it down. if you're a fan of SNL, go buy it.

Friday, January 22, 2010

blink and you'll miss it

the day has arrived. he went from a squat to a stand 3 times today and this was the third time. man, it's really exciting! i know the day will come when he's walking and running but it is just flying by sooooo flippin fast. i remember when he smiled for the first time and when he said "dhh"for the first time. they were miraculous and i know that each day something new appears and those awe-inspiring moments fade into the background little by little.

double you tee

i'm making hamburger helper. cheesy ranch burger classic.

that's my boy!

dane has started "dancing" and it fills me with such joy! it's a reminder of all the fun to come. we can sing and dance and talk! i can't wait. did i also mention that he was dancing to the fame soundtrack? did i also mention that when "pretty women" from sweeney todd came on he beelined for the computer and pulled himself up and started going, "aaaaaaaaaaaaaa....aaaaaaaaaa" like he was truly singing?

oh my gosh i love that little bald angel.

thank heaven

dane slept in until 9 this morning! i'm so glad he understood that mommy had a girl's night last night and she got her drink on a wee bit and she decided to watch "six feet under" until 1:30 in the morning for some stupid reason and she reeeaaaally needed him to be a good little angel baby and he did! he did!

such a sleepy cutie

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

woman on the verge...

i just returned form a very enjoyable day with my neighbor jess. it consisted of ikea, waxings, and margaritas (all with our well behaved angel babies). i have now just put dane to bed and he is totally tuckered out from his day...did you know babies can't handle their tequila? i know...WEAK! so now after perusing perez, i am truly torn. my eyelids are heavy, my typing is HOURENDIS but i might just might need to go over there and have some more alkyhaul.

hmmmmmmm. WHAT WILL MOLLY DO????????????

Monday, January 18, 2010

i am not proud of this

being a stay at home mom has it's many advantages like having the time and wherewithal to ask the hard questions.
i recently googled this:

"julie bowen too much botox?"

i REALLY love "modern family". i think it is so well written and it regularly makes me laugh aloud but julie bowen's face makes me feel weird. i think she's a good actress but i think she could be a much better one if she could make a facial expression or two.

i've also seen an interview where she says , more than once: "very kind of" or "very sort of".
i hate this. it is DUMB and pretentious and is used by the likes of gwyneth paltrow and other actor-y actors. it might go something like this:

"you know, my character of 'claire' is the very kind of quintessential mother where she's, you know, like very kind of the head of the household in many ways, blah blah blah, i've been sort of very blessed in life to be able to have these roles, blah blah blah blah"

so yeah, i DO use my time wisely. for example i also recently asked my friend google this gem:

"jemma mays weird voice?"

i just have to know that i'm not in crazyville. i just had to be perfectly sure that other people hear what i hear when she comes onscreen in my other favorite show "glee".
turns out, they do. yep, indeed, i confirmed it. you're welcome.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

a weird classic


dane's been saying "dada" unbelievably on cue for the last week or so and he totally gets that it's a name for danny. so we tried to video it and here it is:

Saturday, January 16, 2010

life's little injustice

this has happened literally every single day now for at least 2 months. dane wakes up generally very cheery then it's time to give him a bottle of milk which i like to warm up in the microwave. i get the bottle out, set it on the counter, get the milk out of the fridge, pour the milk into bottle, bend down to place milk in microwave and then it happens. dane wails in sheer desperation while actually folding himself in half, placing his huge head on his pudgy fred flintstone feet and cries and cries. it's as if he saying, "NOOOOOOOOOO! MOMMY! NOOOOO! HOW DARE YOU WOMAN! THAT'S MY MILK! IT BELONGS IN MY TUMMY! REMEMBER?? YOU HOLD ME EVERY MORNING WHILE I DRINK IT DOWN! WHY DO YOU TORTURE ME SO? WHHHHYYYYYYY???"
then i take the milk out, pick up the tiny sobbing pile of pudge, sit down, place the bottle in his mouth and he sighs from either happiness, relief or sheer exhaustion.
two months this has gone on. TWO MONTHS. he clearly has his father's capacity for memory.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

things i dream of

i was just looking at the newest "real simple" which is a magazine that i sometimes love. i say only sometimes because it has cool website suggestions and stuff like "one skirt four ways" but then it often has articles on money to which i promptly squeeze my eyes shut and toss it across the room.
this issue had an article on organization which is a fascinating concept to me. it has pictures of a sparkling kitchen with rows upon rows of labeled jars- lentils, pasta, cous cous for god's sake. then there was another lady profiled who is a master at organizing electronic stuff like cords and chargers. she has drawers full of all her chargers in labeled ziploc baggies. i hate her.
at least once a month, danny will ask me where a certain cord is and i'll immediately get all defensive inside and yell at him to "check the drawer". i have NO IDEA what cords are what and when we moved i shoved every cord-like charger-like thing into a bottom drawer all willy nilly. it's now like one of those trick cans o' snakes. and i never thought those were funny.
anyway, i look at these women with their gift wrapping station and closets of color coded-ness and i just shut down a little. i mean, i can't even find a pen to write a check. i envy these people so much. i would love to look around my house and feel that sense of order. that would be magical.
i guess i could start with baby steps. i could stop shoving everything random into the random drawer. maybe there needs to be a separate spot for my 82 ikea allen wrenches and empty tubes of lip gloss.
oh, i have a great name for a drawer organizer. DRAWERGANIZER. awesome, right?


he has sprouted 4 upper teeth! he is experimenting with his facial muscles which is hilarious to watch. sometimes when he is throwing a mini tantrum he will catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror and continue to go through the motions of a tantrum but at the same time watch himself as if to say, "ok, that's it! veeeeery good. now what if i try to cry with a wider mouth this time? what will that do for me? yes, yes, i like it."

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

we just got back from a quickie mini-vacation to maui. it was awesome and dane discovered that he really really likes the sand and the water.
the only downside to taking a crawler to the beach is that his privates looked like shake-n-bake cutlets after about 15 minutes. even with a diaper.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

he might just walk one of these days

best conversation ever


for the feedback. i changed it and i will try to find something that is cool. soon.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

does this blog make me look fat?

i was fooling around with some free blog stuff today and i'm not sure how i feel about this. is there too much going on? does it nauseate you?
i am trying to make my blog cool like my bloggy pal shayla. (
i hate that i can only take a shower when dane is napping. i really don't feel like it. even if i HAVE been to the gym today and sweated more than i have in a solid 3 months. (not counting the time spent over christmas at my parents house where i was forced to navigate THREE flights of stairs at least 10 times daily. "damn, i left dane's bottle upstairs. i think it's a myth that babies need milk. they don't NEED it. they may WANT it but now's as good a time as any to teach him that you can't always get what you want.")
even as i sit here in my own funk and filth, i can't be bothered.