oscar the grouch

do you have any idea how hard it is to avoid the oscars?
my neighbor jess recorded them but we couldn't watch them last night because her husband had a birthday so she was like, "oh molly. i'm sorry but it's kyle's birthday and i really don't think he wants to spend it with you, watching the oscars." i mean, come ON! how selfish can you be? I DO NOT HAVE CABLE, PEOPLE! DO YOU HEAR ME?

this time every year, i am reminded of the night halle berry won her oscar and how i never got to see her speech.
we were living in nyc and i was watching it with my roomie/cousin shane and my bestest boyfriend, david. we had tivo so we were watching it on a bit of a delay. the only award worth watching is best actress and if halle won it would be profound because she's kind of black and all. so we're watching and the anticipation is getting greater by the second with david and i feeding into each other's obsessive excitement. we could hardly even sit on the couch when the time came. the announcer read off the nominees, and david and i are surely holding hands at this point and shane has the remote and the announcer goes, "AND THE WINNER IS..." and shane pauses it, which would have been really brilliant and fun had he not accidentally CHANGED THE CHANNEL. we screamed a slow-motion-in-a-war-and-a-bullet-is-moving-towards-your-best-friend-but-there's-nothing-you-can-do-about-it-scream "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" and by the time he turned back, the show was OVER. 0-V-E-R.
and we weren't recording it.
shane kept saying, "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i got too excited, i pressed the wrong button, etc....." and i was so upset that i almost cried. my mom called me right after and said "oh honey! wasn't her speech AMAZING?? it was so PROFOUND, oh molly! i can't believe you didn't see it!"

wow, i'm glad my priorities have changed over the years.
i've had to avoid internet and phone calls from david for fear of finding out if sandra won.
on the positive side of this, i do get to go over to jess's in an hour and watch it commercial free, whilst eating ice cream cake til i puke.