do you have any idea how hard it is to avoid the oscars?
my neighbor jess recorded them but we couldn't watch them last night because her husband had a birthday so she was like, "oh molly. i'm sorry but it's kyle's birthday and i really don't think he wants to spend it with you, watching the oscars." i mean, come ON! how selfish can you be? I DO NOT HAVE CABLE, PEOPLE! DO YOU HEAR ME?
this time every year, i am reminded of the night halle berry won her oscar and how i never got to see her speech.
we were living in nyc and i was watching it with my roomie/cousin shane and my bestest boyfriend, david. we had tivo so we were watching it on a bit of a delay. the only award worth watching is best actress and if halle won it would be profound because she's kind of black and all. so we're watching and the anticipation is getting greater by the second with david and i feeding into each other's obsessive excitement. we could hardly even sit on the couch when the time came. the announcer read off the nominees, and david and i are surely holding hands at this point and shane has the remote and the announcer goes, "AND THE WINNER IS..." and shane pauses it, which would have been really brilliant and fun had he not accidentally CHANGED THE CHANNEL. we screamed a slow-motion-in-a-war-and-a-bullet-is-moving-towards-your-best-friend-but-there's-nothing-you-can-do-about-it-scream "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" and by the time he turned back, the show was OVER. 0-V-E-R.
and we weren't recording it.
shane kept saying, "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i got too excited, i pressed the wrong button, etc....." and i was so upset that i almost cried. my mom called me right after and said "oh honey! wasn't her speech AMAZING?? it was so PROFOUND, oh molly! i can't believe you didn't see it!"
wow, i'm glad my priorities have changed over the years.
i've had to avoid internet and phone calls from david for fear of finding out if sandra won.
on the positive side of this, i do get to go over to jess's in an hour and watch it commercial free, whilst eating ice cream cake til i puke.
Monday, March 8, 2010
i care, really i do.
i have a new way of feeding dane which goes like this:
1. affix suction bottom bowl to high chair tray.
2. fill bowl with kix.
3. dane pries bowl off tray and tosses it on the floor.
4. i get him out of the chair.
5. he eats off the floor for the rest of the afternoon, grazing like a cow.
1. affix suction bottom bowl to high chair tray.
2. fill bowl with kix.
3. dane pries bowl off tray and tosses it on the floor.
4. i get him out of the chair.
5. he eats off the floor for the rest of the afternoon, grazing like a cow.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
still more blood
so maybe dane and i should've stayed home today, surrounded by foam.
we had a lovely evening walk and as we were back in our front yard, dane tried his hand at navigating the front walk. it was VERY cute to see his big, proud, beaming face toddling to my outstretched arms. he was supposed to fall into my arms for a big "YAAAAAY!" and mommy hug but instead of falling into my arms, he fell and smacked his already battered face into the concrete step.
he screamed as i shuffled him inside to assess the damage. i noticed a ding in his chin and as he gathered his breath for the next wail, his mouth opened and out came a pool of bloody drool. lot's of it. i did not like this part of the day.
turns out he had "only" bitten his tongue and the damage was fairly minimal. his darling chiclet teeth are still there.
phew!
where was my human babyproofer when i needed her?
we had a lovely evening walk and as we were back in our front yard, dane tried his hand at navigating the front walk. it was VERY cute to see his big, proud, beaming face toddling to my outstretched arms. he was supposed to fall into my arms for a big "YAAAAAY!" and mommy hug but instead of falling into my arms, he fell and smacked his already battered face into the concrete step.
he screamed as i shuffled him inside to assess the damage. i noticed a ding in his chin and as he gathered his breath for the next wail, his mouth opened and out came a pool of bloody drool. lot's of it. i did not like this part of the day.
turns out he had "only" bitten his tongue and the damage was fairly minimal. his darling chiclet teeth are still there.
phew!
where was my human babyproofer when i needed her?
first blood
so dane and i walked into town for story time this morning and he tripped and fell into the stroller. poor baby. as a result, he clung to me like a baby chimp to his mama the whole story time.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
yay for me! i'm blogging again!
so we are back from our florida vacation where we had an awesome fun family filled festival. dane stared walking almost immediately upon our arrival and continued to absorb things like a sponge. his cousins were way more entertaining to him than the millions of toys, books, and puzzles in the house. he grew leaps and bounds and has started saying lots more words. my favorite is "grampa". every time he would see grampa his face would light up and he's say "BAM-PAH!!!!!!!" with great emphasis on the second syllable.
not only was he walking and talking, he was napping and sleeping like a champ. he transitioned into the one nap a day and doesn't require a bottle to help the process.
the florida time was filled with food, wine and kids' shenanigans. very fun. it was also where grandma became a human baby-proofer. she would magically materialize to buffer edges of stairs, edges of walls, bath faucets, pool tables, counter tops and pretty much any object that would pose as a potential threat to a wobbly toddler. all the while saying, "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i didn't used to be this way!" to which i would reply, "how DARE you woman. how DARE you care about the health and well-being of your grandchildren." and i swear on my life, the ONE time she wasn't right there (but his mommy was) he slammed his forehead right into -wouldn't you just know it!- the EDGE OF THE WALL. as he was crying, his poor forehead sprouted a bump the likes of pinocchio's lying nose.
what was once a house of peace and quiet, no tv, no kids, everything sparkling fresh and clean, everything in its place is now a house of ebbing and flowing chaos and general messiness thanks to the next generation of schwarzes. i have a feeling that while it was a total joy for us to be there, the in-laws breathed a sigh of relief once we were gone.
here is a video of the early walking.
not only was he walking and talking, he was napping and sleeping like a champ. he transitioned into the one nap a day and doesn't require a bottle to help the process.
the florida time was filled with food, wine and kids' shenanigans. very fun. it was also where grandma became a human baby-proofer. she would magically materialize to buffer edges of stairs, edges of walls, bath faucets, pool tables, counter tops and pretty much any object that would pose as a potential threat to a wobbly toddler. all the while saying, "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i didn't used to be this way!" to which i would reply, "how DARE you woman. how DARE you care about the health and well-being of your grandchildren." and i swear on my life, the ONE time she wasn't right there (but his mommy was) he slammed his forehead right into -wouldn't you just know it!- the EDGE OF THE WALL. as he was crying, his poor forehead sprouted a bump the likes of pinocchio's lying nose.
what was once a house of peace and quiet, no tv, no kids, everything sparkling fresh and clean, everything in its place is now a house of ebbing and flowing chaos and general messiness thanks to the next generation of schwarzes. i have a feeling that while it was a total joy for us to be there, the in-laws breathed a sigh of relief once we were gone.
here is a video of the early walking.
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